The Magpie Files

...the sight of morning...

2009-08-01T00:01:00.005+01:00

Duncan Grant
Woman at a Window

I am now writing a sequel
...the sight of morning...

If you want to join me
you will be most welcome.

Written Memory

2009-07-03T00:01:00.004+01:00

'...that we might be able to love
what our understanding has seen
and what our memory has held.'

St. Catherine of Siena (c1347-80)

I have spent the weekend in the quiet heart of the countryside at the cottage that we visit every year at this time. We did the same things that we do every year and rested for a short while from the demands of our everyday lives.

It gave me a chance to reflect and I realised that, for the moment, I have written everything that I want to write here.

It is a memory of childhood written for my children and offered with my love. It is not complete but it is enough.

The cottage windows look out over orchard and meadow and woods. In the distance there are the constant sounds of woodpigeons and blackbirds but, near by, in the grass and hedges, the magpies chattered noisily to each other. It made me smile to see them as they bustled around.

I would like to thank you all for your friendship. Your emails and comments have made the blog so much more than I anticipated and your encouragement and advice has always helped me to see the way forward.

I hope that you will smile whenever you see a magpie and think of us: MrM, MasterM, MissM and MrsM.

MasterM, Brother

2009-06-26T00:01:00.004+01:00

I was looking for a particular photo
but I found these instead:

After a while I had to stop looking
because so many happy memories
crowded in upon me.

Eventually, I will find the photo
and then I will show it to you.

Until then
you will have to take my word for it
that MasterM is pretty damn proud
of his sister.

Top Trumps (the Gap Year version)

2009-06-25T00:01:00.002+01:00

Guess who is back in town?

We met MasterM at the airport today.

Every time a backpacker came through the doors
our hearts paused...
could this be him?

When he came out wearing a pressed shirt and tie
looking quite unlike the young lad
who left home in January
we were lost for words.

This evening we have eaten roast lamb
and we have drunk the delicious
celebratory Argentinian Malbec
and we are enjoying the traveller's tales.

MasterM tells us that
when he was on the boat to Panama
with his mates, Tim and Tom,
they played Top Trumps with their passports.
There were points for the quality of stamp,
the ink colour variations
and the unusual locations.
MasterM won with his Swaziland stamp.

He is off again next Saturday
collecting more stamps in a passport
that looks impressively battered.

It only has to last until September...

because he won't need
a passport at university...

thank goodness.

All Aboard the Charabanc

2009-06-24T00:01:00.011+01:00

the following invitation was found on the photocopier...

The next Day of Culture
will consist of a visit to Brighton
to explore a number of themes
related to the Social and Cultural Research Group.

We will meet at the The Royal Pavilion Gardens
and visit the Brighton Museum
to consider issues such as:
health, housing, religion
civic pride, sport and other social activities
through a range of objects and printed ephemera.

The exhibition will help contextualise
the second activity of the day
raising questions that we might like to contemplate
as we move beyond the museum space.

Next we will visit
the historic ‘Lanes’ area of Brighton
which has a vibrant café culture
and is characterised by
second-hand and antique emporiums
as well as flea markets
making it an ideal place to pause
and consider a number of themes
including consumption,
the histories of objects
and material culture.

Finally, we will visit the Pier, promenade and beach
to consider the role of tourism
in the creation of Brighton, past and present.

You may wish to read the following
as an introduction to some of the themes
that might arise during the day:

Shields R (1991)
‘Ritual pleasures of a seaside resort
liminality, carnivalesque and dirty weekends’
from Places on the Margin: Routledge: London

Miller D (1998)
Theory of Shopping
Polity Press: Cambridge

*****

MrsM admits to adding the illustrations.

Needless to say, MrsM must remain in the office
to ensure that the administrative wheels
of the Department run smoothly...

The end of an era

2009-06-23T00:01:00.002+01:00

What has happened to Liberty of London?

Sweet Peas

The shop that I used to visit
to purchase delectable fabric
and irresistible haberdashery
and enjoy quiet spaces to choose yarn
has been redesigned to make more room
for clothing and candles.

Liberty has become just like any other department store.

Nasturtiums

The redevelopment seems to represent the antithesis of
the values of the Arts and Crafts Movement
which prized the individual work of the artisan
over mass produced goods.

Fruit and Flowers

It is ironic that I was in Liberty to visit
the annual Arts and Crafts exhibition
curated by Patch Rogers of Brighton.

Pinks

I wanted to admire the craftsmanship
in furniture, metalware, pictures and textiles
that Liberty commissioned and sold
at the end of the 19th century.

Crocus and Snowdrops

Among the items on display in the exhibition
were two small woodcuts
by John Hall Thorpe (1874-1947)
who was born in Australia
and started his career as an illustrator for the Sydney Mail
but worked in England from 1902.

It was delightful to discover this artist
but small consolation for the knowledge
that the pleasure of fabric buying in Liberty
has gone for good.

Kristina and the Goose Egg

2009-06-22T00:01:00.004+01:00

Kristina and I were supposed to be
walking to Petersham Nurseries for tea
but we got waylaid by a Farmers' Market.
There were some charming young men
on the artisan bakers stall
and so I spent a pleasant few moments
negotiating a half price loaf of spelt bread.

Arthur Rackham (1909)

Meanwhile, Kristina was distracted by
a stall selling goose eggs.
Should she buy one?
I didn't want to influence the decision
so I just said
"Go on, Kristina, you know you want to..."

Which is why Kristina carried a goose egg
all the way along the river path
to Petersham Nurseries
and all the way back.

Willy Planck (no date)

And everyone wanted to look at it:
the little girl with the curly hair
and the ladies at the till in the Nurseries
and the cyclist who nearly crashed
into the ice cream van on the towpath.

Jennie Harbour (1921)

It was like walking with a real-life
Little Goose Girl.

On Platform 1

2009-06-20T22:58:00.009+01:00

1.
A steam locomotive
pulls out of the station as I arrive.
I can see the passengers
drinking champagne
in the Pullman carriages.

2.
On the opposite platform
is a fancy lady with
a lavender feathered fascinator
drinking lager from a silver can.

3.
The lad sitting on the bench
wearing shorts and flip-flops
looks like my son.
But my son and his flip-flops
are on the other side of the world.

4.
Omigoodness...
Orla Kiely Leggings!
With gold lame sandals!!

5.
The Lovely Lydia,
MasterM's personal travel agent,
is going away for the weekend.
She probably needs a rest cure.

6.
The lady in red patent heels
is walking up the stairs
very, very carefully.

7.
Only a teenager
could look terrific in
that bright turquoise
draped jersey dress
with cowboy boots.

8.
A dalmatian shaped balloon
floats above a small girl
in the station cafe.

9.
Why is she wearing her
purple V necked jumper
back to front?

10.
A T shirt with a skeleton design
is slightly unnerving on
a middle aged lady.

11.
The man wearing the Lions shirt
is in a hurry...
the match starts at 2pm.

12.
And there I am.
Waiting for the next train
to Richmond
where I will meet Kristina for tea.

White Rose, Pink Rose

2009-06-20T00:01:00.001+01:00

I don't want to brag
but...

Boule de Neige

all month long
the roses in my garden
have rambled

Dr. W. van Fleet

and scrambled
and climbed

Zephirine Drouhin

and bloomed
with fragrant perfection.

Iceberg

I just wish I had spent
more time in the garden
enjoying them.

Constance Spry

Must try harder
next year.

A Moth at Midnight

2009-06-19T00:01:00.001+01:00

The Moth

Isled in the midnight air,
Musked with the dark's faint bloom,
Out into glooming and secret haunts
The flame cries,
'Come!'

Lovely in dye and fan,
Atremble in shimmering grace,
A moth from her winter swoon
Uplifts her face:

Stares from her glam'rous eyes;
Wafts her on plumes like mist;
In ecstasy swirls and sways
To her strange tryst.

(Walter de la Mare 1873 - 1956)

*****

MrsM is painfully reminded of the time
when she attempted to persuade MasterM
to learn poetry.
She felt it would be beneficial
for his inner landscape.
MrsM offered to pay by the line
and suggested that 'The Moth'
would be a good one
to start with.

MasterM politely explained
that learning poetry
was not a lifestyle choice
that he was comfortable with.

MissM, Protector of the Downtrodden

2009-06-18T00:01:00.001+01:00

MissM is anxious about Guy of Gisbourne:

"He hasn't had a good series, you know...

first he is Sheriff
and then he is not...

he is cruelly betrayed by
Mad King John...

he ends up with an evil sister
who keeps trying to kill him...

and the arch-enemy
whom he has been trying to kill
for the past two series
is actually his brother...

and a step-father with leprosy
turns up unexpectedly and drugs him...

and he has to rescue another brother
that he didn't even know existed...

and the only person who has loved him
gets stabbed and dies in his arms...

and he has been thrown in jail
twice...

No wonder his hair is getting greasier every week."

MrM doesn't care.

He sits on the sofa
and murmurs
"Good Arrers*"
every time Robin Hood saves the day.

* a regrettable clue
that MrM has spent
unrecoverable hours watching
The World Darts Championship on TV.

On the far bank...

2009-06-17T00:01:00.001+01:00

The Bathers - José de Almada Negreiros (1925)

I have scrambled out onto the far bank
beyond the detailed auditing of marking
and the careful choreography
of examination board meetings;
the Finalists' barbeque,
dinner with visiting examiners
and meetings with students who have failed.

My mind has been quite empty of anything
other than the day to day requirements of my job.
I reached maximum capacity
and pebbles were tumbling out of the jar.
Yesterday I wondered if I would ever write again.

I tried to remember how I had done it before.
It was difficult to believe that
day after day
the words for posts
had obediently organised themselves
in neat rows
with very little effort.

Today I walked across campus to deliver the agreed marks
clutching the memory stick that represented
months of hard work by so many people.
When I arrived at the building
I could not find my way in.
I walked around the building twice
looking for the entrance
and eventually found a small door.
Then I got lost inside and had to ask
a socked and sandalled Mathematician
to show me the way.
It was a ridiculous end
and I thought...

I should write about this...

Gillyflowers

2009-06-08T00:01:00.001+01:00

Old fashioned frilly Pinks
fill the room with the scent of cloves.

They are Shakespeare's flowers
that Perdita spoke of in
'The Winters Tale'

"...the fairest flowers o' the season
Are our carnations, and streak'd gilly-flowers..."

The name 'gillyflowers' comes from
the Old English word for clove : 'gilofre'
It is now more commonly used for summer stocks
but it was originally used for scented pinks.

The variety names are delightfully old fashioned:
Doris
Ada
Mrs Sinkins

The sight of these flowers reminded me of a bouquet
gathered for Mary, Queen of Scots, by Penelope
in 'A Traveller in Time' by Alison Uttley.

Adam, the ancient gardener, describes it:
"Here's a bed of sops-in-wine
I've raised myself from cuttings from the Duke's place,
and here's heart's-ease,
although the young mistress calls 'em
by a new fanciful name ...'Pauncies'...
Here's holy-hocks, and these is pinks,
but what I likes is sweet williams
and sweet johns and sweet nancies..."

It is not surprising
this book from my childhood
remains within easy reach.

*****

This week is a succession of meetings
to check,consider, discuss and agree
the examination results for the Department.
I will be swimming in a sea of careful words.
Looking forward to crawling out the other side.

Keeping It Real

2009-06-06T21:46:00.005+01:00

Let's not kid ourselves...

Friday night is takeaway night.

MrM says:

"Please send a menu for three
and, by the way,
what are we getting?"

MrsM says:

"I have barely got the strength
to take the lids off."

MissM says:

"No...
I absolutely won't smile for the camera...
I'm STARVING"

Harry Hotspur and the Professor Emeritus

2009-06-05T00:01:00.001+01:00

Harry Hotspur was a giant of a man who was born in 1364 and died at the Battle of Shrewsbury in 1403. He was the eldest son of Henry Percy, 1st Earl of Northumberland, and his upbringing prepared him for defending the great land holdings of the Percy family against Scottish raids. He was captured and ransomed at the Battle of Otterburn and subsequently appointed as the Governor of Bordeaux. Dissatisfaction with the rule of Henry IV led an ill fated alliance with the Welsh resulting in his death on the battlefield from an arrow through the visor.

These are dry facts and seemingly irrelevant to the 21st Century but here is a thing..

There is a theory, impossible to prove but referred to in Shakespeare, that Harry Hotspur had a speech impediment. He was admired greatly in the North of England because of his status and his reputation as a warrior and it is possible that it became fashionable to copy his style of speech. This might explain the characteristic Northumbrian burr which is still apparent in the local dialect today.

When the Professor Emeritus sits in my office to discuss his expense claim I am distracted by the thought that his speech - so typically Northumbrian - is perhaps what Harry Hotspur, the great medieval warrior, sounded like 600 years ago.

And my mind begins to drift...

A photo for Jane

2009-06-04T00:01:00.002+01:00

The first comment that I ever made on a blog
was on Snapdragon's Garden.

I can clearly remember the moment.

I filled in the comment box
and then paused.

It seemed such a leap in the dark
to press the publish button.

When I did publish the comment
I felt completely panicked.

I am not sure what I was worried about
but I knew that I had stepped
into a new world.

Jane has a business selling flowers
and handmade goods
and recently offered to send
a handmade button
in return for a photograph
for her new brochure.

Here is my offering:

Jane's badge
on my plate
with viola from my windowbox.

There is a postscript to this story:

The first envelope was emptied en route
and so I phoned Jane to let her know.
It seemed such a natural thing to do
because we have 'known' each other
for over two years now.

Thank you for your friendship, Jane,
and good luck with the brochure!

Just for the Record

2009-06-03T00:01:00.002+01:00

1.
Red pen for result.
Blue pen for explanation.
Black pen for comment.

2.
The Educational Support Officer
is wearing bright green Converse
and dark grey boardies.

3.
'We need...
more chocolate biscuits...
urgently'
says the Deputy Exams Officer.

4.
Mark entry.
Long columns of numbers.
Checked.
Printed.
Double checked.

5.
Two students in summer dresses
are strolling across campus
eating ice creams.
Carefree.

6.
After analysis
a mark is adjusted
to compensate for
rounding error.
It might make all the difference.

7.
A queue of party goers
waiting for a bus
in bright cocktail dresses and high heels
are off clubbing.

8.
Mark entry is completed early.
The Exams Officer
and the Deputy Exams Officer
are all smiles.

9.
The StudentSoc are planning a boat party.
I must have looked slightly alarmed
because she says soothingly
'Don't worry - I won't be drinking -
I will make sure nobody falls over the side'.

10.
The very fierce lady
in the Exams Office says
'Well Done'.

11.
Offices on the Quad
will be disturbed by soundchecks
for the Summer Ball.

12.
There are more meetings to come.
Some will need lots of Kleenex
but the end is in sight.

the path through the meadow

2009-06-01T00:01:00.003+01:00

We have not been to the meadow
since the last days of winter.

On a warm summer evening
we walk on familiar paths
and discover that the buttercups
still turn their face to the sun
even when we are not there to see it.

as MrM says
'Life must go on...'

Panic on the Internet

2009-05-31T00:01:00.000+01:00

MasterM is flying from Ecuador to Argentina,
away from the jungle and the pirate ship
and back to city life.

Or that is what MrM & MrsM thought
when they went to bed...

2320H

can you send me an email
with the times for my flight
and the code if there is one
pronto
because the email has expired
and i cant find it
and it is TOMORROW!!!!!!!!
AHHH!

*****

0530H

MrM wakes up and reads message
but cannot find email
because it has expired
because he too uses AOL.
AHHHHH!

*****

0700H

MrsM wakes up and checks her email
for the flight details
but it was not copied to her.
AHHHHHHH!

*****

0900H

Lydia, the Lovely Travel Agent,
arrives at work
and provides the flight details
and emails them to MasterM
and MrM & MrsM stop quivering
and wait for news
with their fingers crossed.

In The Rose Garden

2009-05-29T00:01:00.002+01:00

We had tea on the terrace;
freshly baked scones
tiny pastries.

Then we walked over the moat
to the rose garden.

Pillars and swags wrapped
with the soft colours of early summer:

blush
ivory
shell

Wide banks of cat-mint
fluttering with butterflies

Enclosed by clipped hedges
and tall pastel foxgloves.

Is there a more pleasant way
to spend an afternoon?

I think not.

Excessive China Disorder

2009-05-28T00:01:00.002+01:00

There are too many oranges
in the blue and white Fruit Bowl

and so MrsM gets out the
blue and white Mixing Bowl

and makes an orange cake*
for the blue and white Cake Plate.

*Inspired by Kristina and the "Best Cake Ever".

My recipe is by Vicky Musselman
and was originally published in Good Food
but I cannot source it online.

Learning at Work

2009-05-27T00:01:00.005+01:00

You have not yet met
the Professor who shall be nameless
but he has a mischievous sense of humour.

He sends me a link to
the Learning at Work Day homepage.
He knows that I will be entertained
by the list of prizewinners of the
'Name the Fruit and Vegetable' Competition.

The Professor who shall be nameless
does not mention that
a Very August Colleague
is a prizewinner.

As luck would have it,
the Very August Colleague
is the next person to come into my office.

I congratulate the Very August Colleague
on this extraordinary achievement.
He glows with pride.

I got 33 out of 40.
I am amazed.

Not everyone can identify a Mangosteen, you know.
I am impressed.

I thought it was VERY unfair
that I was expected to know it was a Medjool Date.
I just wrote Date.
I am sympathetic.

I didn't recognize the Dragon Fruit
but who would?

I would!
I say.

He looks doubtful.
He is, after all,
a widely travelled,
highly respected,
senior Professor
who gets letters published in the Guardian.
If he doesn't recognise a Dragon Fruit,
it is unlikely that I will.

But it is true.
I would recognise a Dragon Fruit.

*****

Later, MrsM recounts the story to MissM.
She looks slightly mystified.

Why did he win?
What did he call it?
Oh! I SEE ...
I thought it was 'NAME the Fruit and Veg...'
like 'Billy-Bob...the Carrot'

MrsM realises that she may have to
sharpen her act before
she gives up the day job.

Library Fines

2009-05-26T00:01:00.002+01:00

Dear MrM and MrsM,

I am writing to inform you that MissM has some books out on loan which are long overdue. Repeated reminders have failed to effect their return.

If the books are not returned to the Library we will have to make a replacement charge on the end of term bill. I feel you would like to know of this matter, and hopefully can expedite the return of the books concerned. We are delighted that the pupils are making use of the Library, but wish to underline the fact that other pupils would also like access to these resources.

The books are:

Philosophy: the classics by Nigel Warburton
Oresteia by Aeschylus
Greek religion and society by P.E. Easterling
An introduction to Homer by W.A. Camps
Lysistrata; Acharnians; Clouds by Aristophanes
Iliad by Homer

Thank you for your co-operation.

Yours sincerely

The School Librarian

*****

MrM and MrsM
were very impressed
when they read this letter
and agreed that it should be placed
in the family archives.

"That's my girl!" said MrM
(former classicist)

The errant MissM has promised
to return the books
expeditiously.

Shade 323

2009-05-25T00:01:00.000+01:00

I LOVE pedicures.

My penchant is for deep red polish
with names like "Wisdom" or "Courageous".

Yesterday I was distracted by
a raspberry sorbet colour
called "Goody Two Shoes".
I accept that it was a mistake.

MissM does not make style mistakes.
She says kind things about my dubious choice
while sporting iridescent "Blue Energy".

Her weekday polish is a shimmering turquoise
with peacock depths
appropriately called "Green with Envy".

Yesterday she bought a deep viridian-green
so that her fingers and toes could glow
like the heart of the Caspian sea.
It is so stylish that it does not have a name
Shade 323.

This post is for bb
who has had to delay her pedicure.

Le déjeuner sur l'herbe

2009-05-24T15:34:00.003+01:00

It is a weekend of cloudless skies.

The roses have started to bloom
and we sit in the shade of the cherry tree,
drinking chilled white wine,
and remembering the delights of
a small courtyard restaurant in Provence.

For a few hours
everyday life
can be forgotten.

Stonehenge at Sunset

2009-05-22T00:01:00.003+01:00

If you stand with your back to the Heel Stone
at the ancient entrance to Stonehenge
this extraordinary Neolithic monument
does not seem large
under the huge Wiltshire sky.

It is only after you have stepped over the rope
and approached the great Sarsen ring
that you begin to comprehend the size
and complexity of the construction.

Walking under the massive lintel stones
into the inner circle
you feel awed by the vision and organisation
of the community that created this place
6,000 years ago.

Closer still,
you discover the pale patina of lichen
which catches the late evening light.

We were very fortunate to have
a Stonehenge expert,Andrew Lawson,
as our group leader.
His detailed description of the construction
and archaeological excavations was fascinating.

These daggers and axeheads
occur on many of the stones in the inner circle
and were carved into the rocks nearly 4,000 years ago.

Then it was time to be quiet
as the sun began to set.

It is a rare privilege
to be allowed inside the stone circle
and it was an unforgettable experience
to be there at sunset.

MasterM, Explorer

2009-05-21T00:01:00.003+01:00

Dear Parents,

I have now returned from the 6 day trek through the jungle to the Lost City which was really good.

Unfortunately, my flip flops finally broke so I ended up walking barefoot for 2 days, I think I have 6 blisters now which is a bit annoying.

Furthermore, today when hunger was kicking in on the last of our uphill treks in about 29C I decided on my list of things which I dreamed of from home.

Caramel Digestives
Fanta Orange
Two Boost Bars
Home made tuna sandwich (white bread)
Original Pringles
Fudge
Strawberry Milkshake.

If possible I would like them taken to the airport for my return.

(Mothers of teenage boys will instantly recognise
that this as a true and unexpurgated record.
Mothers of younger boys - take note.)

Equal Opportunities

2009-05-20T00:01:00.001+01:00

Lecture Theatre

tiered seats of excruciating discomfort
each patinated bench with a brass ink well
primrose walls and white plasterwork
black iron wall radiators
smoky glass pendant lamp

the man at the lectern
describes the manifold ways
in which discrimination should be avoided
in a dry, monotonous voice

it delights me to think
that this same lecture theatre was built
for the sole use of young women
who were educated here
but were unable to graduate
and returned to a world where
only men could vote

what would they think of this
equal opportunity legislation?

Students - 1891

At the end of the day

2009-05-19T00:01:00.002+01:00

We leave behind the cold rain and grey skies
to go to Evensong in the Cathedral.

Afterwards, we chat to a elderly Friar
who is a friend of MrM's father, Thomas.
MrM says "You have a new habit!
The last one had a big patch on!".
It seems rather irreverent to me
but the elderly Friar is amused,
in a saintly kind of way.

We are nearly the last to leave
and the covered stone passages are empty.

The light at the entrance to the cloister
distracts me and for a moment
the photograph is all I can think about.

Turning, I find that I am alone
and MrM and MissM have walked on
without me.

I run to catch up.

If I had not stopped
I could have listened to MissM
describe her Eurovision party
with themed food.
I would have liked that.

Some you win, some you lose.

2009-05-17T23:03:00.003+01:00

Sunshine
Gusty wind
Policemen on horses
Street barbequeue
Old friends
Car park parties
Bag checks
Flags, flags, flags
Optimism
A long range kick drifting wide
Disappointment

*****

After the match I left MrM at the stadium
and walked back with the crowds to the station.
On the train home there were two little lads,
perhaps seven or eight years old,
who had been at the match with their dads.
They were fizzing with excitement -
for them the result was less important
than the experience of going to Twickenham.
We 'bantered' about the best London Irish player
and, fortunately, my rugby knowledge
just about took the strain.
I asked them what position they played
and when I told them that was the same as my son
they asked me where my son was.
I nearly said "On a pirate ship"
but they might have thought I was making it up
so I just said that he was walking in the jungle.
Their eyes were as big as saucers.
It was the best part of the day.

Things that are worrying me right now...

2009-05-16T00:01:00.001+01:00

Cinderella
Frederick Hall (1891)

1.
The blogging ladies of Australia.
Why are they so silent?

2.
Bloglines.
I hate the way my posts look
with the text randomly placed
near the photos.

3.
Someone in Portugal
is reading through my archives
page by page.
I hope that they aren't too shocked
by the eccentricities.

4.
Memes.
Scare me.
(how do you pronouce it anyway?)

5.
If I carry on blogging for years
will I start to write
self centred trivia?

What do you mean - it is too late?

6.
I didn't write and thank
Mr. Eurolush(!!!)
when he left a comment.
Busyisnoexcuse.

7.
MasterM and Pirates.

8.
MissM and Exams.

9.
Will it rain on Wednesday?

10.
Should I wear my green wig
and/or green feather boa
and/or Guinness hat
to cup final match?

Or all of the above?

11.
My new antique china dish.
Can I use it for risotto?
Will the heat damage the glaze?

12.
I have left the lounger
out in the rain.
Again.

Special Arrangements

2009-05-15T00:01:00.003+01:00

Alice,
I don't want to worry you
but...

the invigilators have not arrived.
Could you phone the exams office?

Wait a minute!
Why is that candidate walking out of the building?

What do you mean - the invigilators are lost?

I am going to go back and reassure the other candidate.

He's gone!
This is a disaster...
we have no invigilators and no candidates.

Phone the exams office
but don't tell them
we have lost the candidates.

Ah! Here is an invigilator...

I am afraid that you will not be in the room
on the schedule because the computer centre
set up the computer in the other room.
I am afraid that we don't have a candidate either.

Ah! Here is a candidate.

Oh dear - it is the other candidate
and his invigilator is still missing.

I am going to walk around the building
and see if I can spot anyone who looks lost.

*****

Some candidates have special arrangements
for their exams which take account
of particular challenges that they face.

These students are in individual examination rooms
and may have computer equipment or a note-taker.

This year we have a number of candidates
with special examination arrangements
including a finalist with cerebral palsy.

Invitation to a Private View

2009-05-14T00:01:00.003+01:00

The artist, smiling.
The husband, relieved.
The mature student, gesticulating.
The photographer, bored.
The research director, self-deprecating.
The gallery receptionist, blase.
The influential woman, networking.
The blogger, fascinated.

*****

The images were taken, with permission,
at the private view of an exhibition,
Moving Patterns,
at the Royal Geographical Society.
It is the culmination of a research project
to consider the effect of migration on artistic expression.

It involved collaboration with artists
who have a variety of visual references from different cultures.
One artist amalgamates the structure of tartan
and the Indian tradition of gold and silver artwork.

Another artist uses images such as
the double decker bus and helmeted policeman
in repetitive patterns.

If you thought that
Geography was all about maps
you are so out of date.

Postcards from Colombia

2009-05-13T00:01:00.002+01:00

Medellin

MasterM
Having a great time in Medellin.
Planning to head up to Cartagena
and the Caribbean.

MrsM
please...
be aware of the risk of swine 'flu
do not go too close to active volcanoes
avoid remote areas where there is a risk of kidnapping
stay away from high risk neighbourhoods in the cities

Cartagena

MasterM
I think we might get this kind of pirate boat
to Panama which stops at these tiny islets.

Doesn't sound too bad.

MrsM
Pirate boat??

Just cruisin'

Twitter

2009-05-12T22:20:00.002+01:00

What a day!

Comments from Blackbird

and Blackbird...

and all day long

a blackbird sang outside my office.

"I was of three minds,
Like a tree
In which there are three blackbirds."
Wallace Stevens

A Fantasy in Blue and White

2009-05-12T00:01:00.001+01:00

On the outside Shobdon Church is a little nondescript,
grey and rectangular with a medieval castellated tower.

It is only when you open the door
that you fall in love.

Inside you find a confection of pastel colours
and a riotous assemblage of Gothick fantasy.
It was built by the Bateman family in 1756
in the fashionable Strawberry Hill Gothic style
inspired by Horace Walpole and the 'Committee of Taste'
and care was lavished on every detail.

The technical descriptions hint at the frivolous:
Rococo, ogee pendant arches,
lozenge shaped window panes,
oriental bamboo fretwork,
pineapple mouldings.

The Bateman family sat in the South aisle
on these elegant chairs
warmed by a substantial fireplace.

The servants sat on the other side,
below the pulpit, with no fire,
under the watchful eye of the priest.

The pulpit appears to be suspended in the air
under the extravagant canopy.

Look up the nave to the altar
and admire the barrel vaulting
and fantastical chancel arch.
Look back towards the door
and admire the carved pew ends
and elegant balcony.

What's not to love?

*****

What happens when your camera battery dies...
just before you visit Shobdon Church?
You have to use the camera on your mobile phone.
The photos above are not edited in any way
and are an example of what can be achieved.
The trick is to hold your hand very steady
because the shutter speed is slower.
The main problems are that the colour balance is poor
and composition can be clumsy
especially without a zoom function.
I used to take a lot of photos with my mobile
and so the memory is completely full.
I had to delete five photos to make room for these images
and that made me very careful about the composition.

for Lynn, who has waited impatiently for this post.

Before The Match

2009-05-11T00:01:00.001+01:00

Harlequins v London Irish,
Guinness Premiership Semi-Final

We arrived too early

and there was nothing to do

except stand in the sunshine and enjoy a drink,

consider the retail opportunities,

watch the team warm-up,

and admire the scenery.

*****

It was a shame about all those pink flags
because Twickenham will be green next Saturday.
A reliable source told me that
London Irish ordered 10,000 flags
'just in case...'

We will be there - it should be quite an occasion.

A posy from the garden

2009-05-10T08:27:00.003+01:00

for my daughter.

My mother always leaves a tiny posy for me
when I go home.
Yesterday, when I picked these flowers
I thought of her
and hoped that,
one day,
my daughter will do the same.

Staick House, Eardisland

2009-05-08T00:01:00.002+01:00

At the edge of a small village
encircled with orchards
at the height of their blossomy beauty

beside a slow stream,
adrift with reeds,

is a house
enclosed with stranded ivy

where the Sleeping Beauty
sleeps on.

Hereford Cathedral

2009-05-07T07:00:00.000+01:00

Do you want to see what I saw?

A squat Norman tower

Arches and Pinnacles

An ancient door

Assorted mouldings

A peaceful cloister

A dazzling river panorama.

Do you want to see what the gull saw?
Let us pan slightly left...

The outcome of a flawed planning system.

It truly pains me to post this picture
because I hate ugly things
but I felt so sad that the planning system
in Hereford could have allowed this project
to spoil the historic heart of the city.
It was opened in 2000
but is already empty and dilapidated.
I hope that they get it right with the next major development.

Go forth and comment...

2009-05-06T19:39:00.004+01:00

image courtesy of Wikipedia Commons

Rhiannon is as cute as a button
She bakes!
She wears adorable outfits!
She has a 'lovely' young man !
Best of all, she has nearly finished her finals!

And then she is going to New York
for a romantic time
with her 'lovely' young man.

Where should she go?
What should she do?

My last visit to New York
involved a visit
to every single sports shop
in the city
because MasterM wanted
a particular basket ball shirt
in a particular size.
It was not romantic.
I have nothing to offer.

I'm relying on you lot.

Oh and don't touch the Princess Mug while you are there.

Clock-watching

2009-05-06T00:01:00.003+01:00

MrsM has been signed up for a Time Management course.
MrsM is aggrieved. She does not think that she needs to attend.
MrsM is informed that it is compulsory.
MrsM provides a credible excuse for the first session:

"Board Meeting"

MrsM provides a credible excuse for the second session:

"Recruitment"

MrsM runs out of excuses.

MrsM checks her diary first thing in the morning. It is The Day.
MrsM shakes her head at the shocking waste of time.
MrsM arrives with a minute to spare.

There is no-one there.
MrsM is a week early.
MrsM turns around to see the course organiser.
MrsM is busted.

Alas! MrsM knows that the course organiser knows that
MrsM really, really needs a Time Management course.
And the course organiser knows that MrsM knows that.

It is a bitter medicine to swallow.

Somewhere in South America

2009-05-05T00:01:00.001+01:00

The Andes between Argentina and Chile.

Dear Parents,

So guess where I am??

It's a country in South America but not Ecuador and its capital is Santiago. Unfortunately, the plane from Buenos Aires was delayed to Santiago so everyone missed their connecting flights to Ecuador and Mexico, that means that unfortunately I have to stay in Santiago tonight.

Not all bad as you are about to find out...

I am in a 5 star hotel, supper, breakfast and mini bar are included. I am debating whether to use the gym and then go for a massage or have a massage then go to the gym then to the spa and jacuzzi or alternatively just watch films on the 40inch plasma screen in my room, which to the 'average juan' would cost $239. As you have probably guessed life is tough. Couple this with the decision I have to make regarding whether to get breakfast in bed and I think you will realise that gap year hasn't turned out as planned.

It's pretty ideal actually because I don't know where TMac and TBrown are in Ecuador so this will give me a chance to find out before I actually get there.

Also got a Chilean stamp in my passport which is really cool as it is a mixture of two different colours on the stamp. Good stuff.

Thats all for now.

oink oink

Eavesdropping

2009-05-04T11:54:00.007+01:00

The Fosse, Castle Green, Hereford

1.
The gasp of delight from MrsM
when she sees this view out of her hotel bedroom.

2.
A champagne cork explodes out of the bottle
hits a lamp shade,
and then ricochets into the ice bucket
with a splash.

3.
Reverberations from the Cathedral organ.

4.
A man at the next table says
"I put my aftershave on
and then I tried to put my contact lenses in
but it really made my eyes sting."
MrM murmurs
"Should have put your brain in first, mate."

5.
Church bells in the early morning.

6.
A mother singing Frere Jacques to her daughter
as they cycle through empty Sunday streets.

7.
Dusty silence in a village church.

8.
The young waitress persuading us to try
homemade lime cheesecake.
"It is delicious" she promised.
It was.

9.
Laughter from the elderly museum guide
as we try to guess what the mysterious object is.

10.
Listening to the decisive penalty kicks
through the hiss and fade of
a car radio with appalling reception.

11.
A squeaky yawn from tiny Maisie,
a very precious new daughter
for our friends, Graham & Ursula.

12.
The sigh of despair from MrsM
when she realises that her camera battery is flat.

Tulips

2009-05-01T00:01:00.003+01:00

There are days
when you believe that
Winter will last forever.

Then one morning
you open the curtains,
sunlight illuminates the tulips,
you know that Summer is nearly here,
and you wonder why you ever doubted it.

Happy May Day.

This post is dedicated
with love
to my friend
Bobby.

Planning ahead

2009-04-30T00:01:00.001+01:00

Mr and Mrs Ralph Izard by John Singleton Copley (1775)

MrM and MrsM have a free weekend ahead of them.
For the first time for years and years and years
they have no responsibilities at all.

MrsM
We could just go...somewhere...

MrM
Where?

MrsM
Herefordshire.

MrM
Why?

MrsM
I don't know...it just popped into my head...

MrM
What is there to do in Herefordshire?

MrsM
I have no idea.

MrM
There must be something to do.

MrsM
We can drink Westons cider.

MrM
Pass the phone.
I will book a hotel.

Falmouth

2009-04-29T00:01:00.002+01:00

You can't see the house where I grew up
because it is just around the bend in the river
on the left hand side.

You can see the house that I could see
from my bedroom window.
It is the last house, low on the waterline,
on the right hand side.

You can see the quay where we caught the tiny ferry,
and the house with the salt and pepper chimneys
that we walked past to get to the beach.

I haven't been back many times
but if you love a place
you never really leave.

Photo by Hilary G.
who has a wonderful collection of skirts.
She now lives and works in Penryn.
I miss hearing her laughter
in the corridor outside my office.

Just for the Record

2009-04-28T00:01:00.007+01:00

1.
It is the first day of the exam term.
Another year, another exam timetable.

2.
The Chair of the Board of Examiners
and the Educational Support Officer
sit in my office looking gloomy.

3.
Marks,
Modules,
Moderation,
Extenuating Circumstances,
External Examiners,
Appeals.

4.
The Chair of the Board of Examiners
has started to think in decimal points already.

5*.
I tell him that the invigilator
has emailed from Jordan to confirm
that she will be back in time for the first exam.

6.
The Educational Support Officer
is responsible for students with problems.
I admire him - it is a difficult job.

7.
I point to the traditional tin of chocolate biscuits
for the sole use of examiners.
It is a feeble attempt to lighten the mood.

8.
They dictate an email to be sent to all students.
My erratic typing makes them laugh.

9.
We agree that "Groundhog Day"
is a truly great film.

10.
The Chair of the Board of Examiners
takes the notices from the filing cabinet:

Quiet - Exam In Progress

11.
It will all be over in five weeks.

12.
I consider warning my blog friends
that I may be slow to respond to emails.

No change there either.

*with fivefold thanks to Quinn

The Precinct Walls

2009-04-27T00:01:00.001+01:00

It was the toadflax that started it;
tiny lavender flecks clinging to grey stone

and then there was the lilac,
heavy scented in the still air.

My husband and daughter waited patiently
as I climbed on a bench to photograph forget-me-not

and leaned over old railings
to capture pale magnolia.

I know now that was all leading up
to this one perfect moment:

then I put my camera away...
I was done.

messages from my family

2009-04-25T21:51:00.003+01:00

my sister
...we LOVE the dognut story...

my father
...don't work too hard...

my father-in-law
...you can borrow my gown and hood for Graduation...

my husband
...thankee for the hanky...

my son
...I have just emailed Lydia, the travel agent,
and I need you to pay for my ticket to Quito immediately
because it is a really good deal...

my daughter
...this is just the thing
to update your spring wardrobe...

House Rules

2009-04-24T00:01:00.002+01:00

#49

Buy rhubarb

... or daffodils...

from farmers
who advertise with hand lettered signs.

adapted from
Life's Little Instruction Book
by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

At the Edge of Another World

2009-04-23T00:01:00.001+01:00

I have just finished reading
A Boy at the Hogarth Press by Richard Kennedy
published by Slightly Foxed.
It is a delight - packed with anecdotes of a vanished literary world
and scrambled line illustrations full of energy and wit.

Virginia Woolf setting type by Richard Kennedy

The Hogarth Press was started by Leonard and Virginia Woolf
and published works by members of the Bloomsbury group
with cover designs by Vanessa Bell, sister of Virginia Woolf.

The Common Reader by Virginia Woolf
cover design by Vanessa Bell

Richard Kennedy worked there during the period
that Virginia Woolf completed Orlando
and talks of visits by Vita Sackvillle-West.

Lady in a Red Hat (Vita Sackville-West) by William Strang, 1918

This inspired a desire to visit Knole House
where Vita Sackville-West grew up as the only child
of Lionel Sackville-West, 3rd Baron Sackville
and so we joined the crowds on Sunday afternoon.

The Venetian Ambassador's Room by Ellen Clacy, 1888.

The most beautiful room in Knole is
The Venetian Ambassador's Room.

Vita described this room as follows:
"Green and gold...of all rooms I never saw a room
that so had over it a bloom
like the bloom on a bowl of grapes and figs"

Virginia used equally lyrical language
to capture the shimmering elegance
"The room...shone like a shell
that has lain at the bottom of the sea for centuries
and has been crusted over
and painted a million tints by the water..."

It was extraordinary to be in the room
and imagine them there, seeing everything that I saw.

(A slight overstatement as the State Bed is currently
dismantled for restoration - but bear with me...)

Kew Gardens by Virginia Woolf, Hogarth Press 1919
cover handpainted by Roger Fry and woodcuts by Vanessa Bell

Later, in the gift shop, there was a shelf of rare books
which included copies published by the Hogarth Press.
As I held one of these books
and considered that it might have been packed
by Richard Kennedy or even Virginia Woolf
it felt as though my ordinary Sunday afternoon
and the exotic and complex world of the Bloomsbury Group
were touching at the edges.

A Truth Quietly Told

2009-04-22T00:01:00.001+01:00

C started his PhD after he retired.
He often drops by my office for a chat
and he always has something interesting to say.
When I saw him on Monday
he asked if I had had a good weekend.
It is what you say on Mondays
and I replied, without thinking very much,

"Yes, it was really nice.
We didn't DO very much
but it was very relaxing.
It was just my husband and me."

He turned back from the door

"Enjoy every moment of weekends like that."

I felt terrible because I had forgotten
that he had been widowed in the past two years
and I started to apologise
but he stopped me

"No...please don't think that I am asking for sympathy...
I just want you to know how precious that time is."

A Method of Translation

2009-04-21T00:01:00.000+01:00

MasterM is translating during a coaching session
between a South African coach
and an Argentinian rugby player.

South African Coach
Ask him if he can do the Goose-Step tackle

MasterM (in Spanish)
Can you do the tackle
when you step like a goose?

Argentinian Player
What on earth do you mean?

MasterM (in English)
He says that he has been trained
in the full range of tackle techniques

South African Coach
But can you make sure
that he can do the Goose-Step tackle.

MasterM (in Spanish)
Listen to me - when I say goose
you must say 'Si!' very loudly.
OK?

Argentinian Player
OK!

MasterM (in Spanish)
Goose!

Argentinian Player
Si!!

MasterM (in English)
He says yes!

MrsM wonders if MasterM will enter the Diplomatic Service.

Snow in April

2009-04-20T00:01:00.002+01:00

My Japanese cherry tree
is in full bloom.

The whiteness of the blossom
quite startling
against the Spring blue sky.

Little breezes create
petal flurries

and the grass beneath
is downy with April snow.

A Quandary of Quails' Eggs

2009-04-19T11:07:00.004+01:00

Bought because they were beautiful...

What to do now?

Anyone for fairy cakes?

The Naming of Plates

2009-04-17T00:01:00.001+01:00

MissM complains that we are
The Only Family in The World
where the china is individually named.
We have The Croissant Plate,
The Roast Chicken Plate,
The Breakfast Plates
and The Creme Caramel Plates.
And that is before we start on items with handles...

And now I must introduce you to
The Biscotti Plate
which was purchased in Cornwall
just hours before I met Diana
who gave me a jar of delicious handmade biscotti.
Imagine the trauma for all concerned
if I had not had a suitable plate!
I hope that Walter approves.

Thank you, Diana,
I had the most lovely evening talking blog-shop.
I don't think I have ever done that before.
I can remember blushing furiously
when I met Kristina and being quite unable
to say the name of my blog out loud.
That was eighteen months ago
and now I am brave enough to admit
in a public place
that I write and publish my work on the internet.
How times have changed.

Rosa, Aged Two and Three Quarters

2009-04-16T00:01:00.001+01:00

Rosa and her adoring family are in a cafe.

Rosa's Oldest Sister
Oh! Look Rosa!
A tiny doughnut
with my hot chocolate
Would you like it?
Rosa
No.
Vats not MY doughnut.

Rosa's Middle Sister
Here Rosa,
have my tiny doughnut.
It is just the right size for you.
Rosa
No.
Vats not MY doughnut.

Rosa's Cousin (MissM)
Do you want my yummy doughnut, Rosa?
Rosa
No.
Vats not MY doughnut.

Rosa's Aunt (MrsM)
Rosa, because you are special
you can have my doughnut.
Rosa
No.
Vats not MY doughnut.

At this point the coffee arrives for Rosa's Daddy.

Rosa
Vats MY doughnut.

Rosa's Daddy sighs...

Penberth, by road

2009-04-15T00:01:00.001+01:00

You can reach Penberth by sea or by road
or by steep cliffside paths.
If you walk down through the valley
on the narrow road

you will hear only the sound of the stream
as it plunges between trees
and soft areas of tiny white daffodils.

There are wild violets
and fern fronds beginning to uncurl.

Do you love this house? I do!
It is beside the road
but I don't think that I would mind.

It is a very beautiful road
and leads to the sea
where winding gear pulls small boats
onto the safety of the cobbled slipway.

Somewhere on this road
I laid down my burden of sadness.
It didn't seem worth the effort
of carrying it up the steep path
to the gorse-gold cliffs.

Roadside Signs

2009-04-14T00:01:00.002+01:00

It takes four hours to drive to Cornwall
if the motorway is clear of roadworks
and caravans are safely parked on suburban driveways.

You pass signs to Winchester and Salisbury,
Bristol, Bath and Exeter.

There is Stonehenge, cordoned by tourists,
the Rocking Horse workshop,
the place where the bacon butties are hot and good,
the old fashioned breadshop,
the cafe where we accidentally flooded the bathroom.

Hills, moors and woodland;
roundabouts, laybys and bypasses.

And just when you think
that you will be driving for ever
you see the trees.

A perfect copse on the brow of a hill.

And you know that you are nearly home.

Easter Eggs

2009-04-13T14:55:00.004+01:00

Eggs collected by my Mother-in-Law,
who loves beautiful things.

We got up very early and drove on empty roads
to hear an Easter sermon
in a country church.

After the service small children
scrambled among tombstones
and discovered silvery eggs
hidden in daffodil trumpets.

In Cornwall my new nephew
was experiencing the thrill
of the family egg hunt in the orchard
for the very first time
at the age of five weeks.
Eggs balanced on mossy boughs
and resting under primroses
waiting for little hands
to put them in tiny baskets.

I wish I could have been there.

Breaking News

2009-04-11T13:09:00.004+01:00

1.
MissM has been temporarily suspended
from her role as Fashion Guru for this blog.

She has admitted wearing
this fluorescent red man-made top
with these purple spotted leggings
on a mountain side.
When confronted MissM was unapologetic:

"Did you want me to get hypothermia?
Sometimes, fashion must be second to common sense.
Anyway, I knew that only climbers would see me
and they were probably wearing weird things too."

2.
MrsM has been temporarily suspended
from her role as Laundry Consultant.

She had a moment of madness
which resulted in a regrettable attempt to iron
aforementioned fluorescent red man-made top
This has negatively affected the functionality.

MrsM has not attempted to provide a rational explanation.

The last day of the month

2009-03-31T00:01:00.000+01:00

March is normally a good month for me:
birthdays, spring flowers, longer days.
This year, not so much.

I know that we have been away
and I am grateful for those opportunities
but I am missing Poppy
and the quiet morning walks.

I am also aware of all the things
that I have given up
to make my not-so-new job possible:
photography, gardening, writing;
all things that are important to me
and make me tick as a person.
I feel as though my world has shrunk
so that I alternate between two work locations:
house and office.

I know that I have to find ways
to recapture the pleasures that I took for granted
and the life that made me happy.

I'm having a rest and a think.
See y'all after Easter

Whodunnit?

2009-03-30T03:01:00.000+01:00

MissM has just spent the afternoon
at the Fortune Theatre
watching 'The Woman in Black'
with her friend the Sassy MissS.

MissM
Oh! I see that you made a cake
and you started it without me!!

MrM
Errrr...

no....

Your mother used
a special C-shaped cake tin...

Instructions for my Bhutan Estate Agent

2009-03-28T00:01:00.002Z

Character property
Preferably detached
Potential for self sufficiency

Sheltered location
Would consider renovation project

Room for extension
Good views
Sunny garden

Off street parking
Not overlooked
Not on busy road

Definitely NO Internet Access.

Top Secret and Confidential

2009-03-27T00:01:00.002Z

Pedestrian Crossing

2009-03-26T00:01:00.003Z

Imagine, if you will,
a point on my journey to work.

Every day, they are there, holding hands:
This young couple coming down the hill.
Walking with that swinging stride;
Same height, same build.

Their stylish black clothes do not change:
He a duffle coat and she a leather jacket.
They talk and laugh as they walk
And their faces turn inwards towards each other.

They must set off at the same time every day,
Just as I do, so that we meet at this crossing.
Day after day they go past in their other life
And I observe, and smile.

I do not know if they see me.
But today, I stood between them,
He on one side of the road,
And she on the other, weeping.

~~~~~

for bb, who would have known what to do..

~~~~~

edited to add:

I saw them again this morning.
holding hands,
talking and laughing,
faces turned inwards towards each other.

Suddenly, the rain didn't seem to matter.

Joined Up Thinking

2009-03-25T00:01:00.001Z

This is the house
where the Cook had no garlic.

She blames the Housekeeper
who is very inefficient.

The Housekeeper says that
the Cook should have let her know
when she had used the last one.

MrM is too hungry to notice
the fuss in the kitchen.

Just for the Record

2009-03-24T00:01:00.002Z

The Department Board Meeting.

It is nearly the end of term.
Everyone is tired and scratchy.

1.
It is lunch time.
The smell of onion soup
drifts across the room.

2.
The Head of Department
has a vivid orange and red waistcoat.
With matching socks.

3.
The business of the department is discussed.
Everyone is there apart from
the Professor who has meetings in Sierra Leone.

4.
The tiny American academic
is wearing a beautifully cut
short suede skirt
with long black boots.

5.
The Admissions Tutor thanks everyone
for their hard work
supporting the admissions process.
Evening Lectures, Open Days, School Visits.
Applications are up.

6.
The academic who dreams of golf courses says
"I am worried that soil is slipping off the agenda."

7.
The enthusiastic academic
is not happy about a proposal.
It has not been properly presented.
The air sparkles.

8.
I am distracted by the sight of a heron
in the blue sky outside the window.
That part of the meeting will not be recorded.

9.
The person next to me is eating
curried chicken in a ciabatta.
It is in imminent danger
of cascading all over his notebook.

10.
The Professor of whom we spoke
requests information about manual handling
with a mischievous glint in his eye.

11.
The Libyan expert is congratulated
on his forthcoming marriage.
Everyone applauds.
He blushes.

12.
Outside, the Magnolia stellata is in full bloom.
In another life I would have been in the garden.

Paddy's Day at the Madstad

2009-03-23T00:01:00.000Z

The best hats are out

and the Guinness is flowing.

It is a sunny day to compare wigs

and the team are on top form.

Doris models her spring outfit

and the band is outstanding.

It is a great party.

I am sorry that I don't have a photo of the streaker...
I was laughing so much that the camera was shaking.
She looked as though she was enjoying herself.

Mothering Sunday

2009-03-21T21:30:00.009Z

I have a son in South America
and a daughter at the top of Mount Snowdon.

I wish that I could magic them home
and cook Sunday lunch for them.

I have been thinking about parenting recently
after conversations with M and The Coffee Lady.

I didn't do much thinking about it
when MasterM and MissM were little
because I was too busy being a parent
but now that it is too late
I am allowing myself to think about it.

I have realised that
our principal objective as parents
was to raise children
who are interesting and amusing
to talk to over the dining room table.

I am delighted with the result.

I just wish they weren't so far away today.

A Trainee Bibliophile

2009-03-20T00:01:00.002Z

It is always a mistake
to buy a present for someone
when you really want it yourself.
You hand it over
and are gratified by their enthusiasm.
Then there is the titanic struggle with your conscience
in which you try to decide if it is polite
to borrow it immediately
or whether you have to wait for a day or so.
Such was my dilemma at Christmas.

I suggest to MrM that a subscription to
Slightly Foxed , the literary journal,
would be the perfect present for his father.
MrM is pleased with this idea.
Then I suggest that we could borrow
the journals after my father-in-law had read them.
MrM seems to think that this is acceptable.

I wait...for days...
and the first journal arrives.

I gloat over the cover,
A watercolour of St. Pauls!!
I read it quickly,
Sue Gee writing an article!!
I re-read it slowly,
An article about Hugh Walpole!!
I covet books in the list of collector's editions,
Blue Remembered Hills by Rosemary Sutcliff!!

I give in
and arrange my own subscription.

MrM does not know yet
so I am expecting a stern discussion
about frugality, economy and recycling.

I will be very contrite.

Confessions of a Reluctant Mountaineer

2009-03-19T00:01:00.002Z

MissM and MrsM are in an Outward Bound shop.
They are surrounded by fleeces
and high visibility waterproofs
and carabiner displays.
They are outside their comfort zone.
The sock display fills them with gloom.

But..what is this?..
a very thin man wearing at least two fleeces
and some climbing leggings has come to help.

MrsM
Errr...I wonder if you could advise us on socks?

Scary, Thin Man
You won't be wanting those socks that you are holding
they are No Good.

MrsM looks down and sees to her surprise
that she is holding four pairs of socks
on a two-for-one offer.

Scary, Thin Man
Where are you going?

MissM
Snowdon

Scary, Thin Man
You will be needing these socks
which have superior wicking
and are padded around the foot
with close knit stitching
to maintain the shape.
These are superb socks
especially for transitional weather conditions
with all the features you would expect
from the advances in textile technology.
They will last a lifetime.

MrsM
Right.

errr...
do we need a liner?

Scary, Thin Man
NO! NO! NO!
Definitely not!
That is an Old Fashioned Attitude.
If you wear a liner
you will not get
The Benefit of The Sock.

MrsM
Can we have four pairs?

Scary, Thin Man
Four pairs?
Are you going for a month?
No! Two pairs will be more than enough.

MrsM is crushed by her own ignorance
but comforted by the knowledge
that MissM will get The Benefit of the Sock
all the way up Snowdon
and all the way down.

The Art of Botany

2009-03-18T00:01:00.002Z

Do you remember the aubretia
that we found at the bottom of Gold Hill?
It was named after the botanical artist,
Claude Aubriet (1651 - 1742).

Citrullus Colocynthius

He worked in the Jardin des Plantes in Paris
and his paintings attracted the attention of
the influential Professor of Botany,
Joseph Pitton de Tournefort
who employed Aubriet to record the botanical discoveries
of his trip to the Greek Islands and the Levant.

Flower Study

I am trying to imagine
a scientific expedition to Armenia in 1702;
it must have been like stepping back into
the Middle Ages for the cultured Parisians.

Pomegranate

Aubriet was appointed Royal Botanical Painter in 1707
and retired in 1735 but his meticulous detail
infuenced a whole new generation of artists.

Geranium

You can see Aubriet's illustrations
in the RHS Lindley Library.
I shall go and admire them when I have a spare moment

Carnations

Roll on that day.

News from Buenos Aires

2009-03-17T00:01:00.003Z

...and so I saw these two great fish and I HAD to have them and so I bought a fish tank. When I got them back to the flat I didn't have anything to fill the tank with so I just used a saucepan. It took a while but when it was full I switched on the bubble making machine and it looked so cool and I put the fish in. Then there was this awful cracking sound and the leg on the table collapsed and the fish tank fell on the floor and smashed to smithereens. Not a good moment. And I had to rescue Aztec and Inca (that's what the fish are called) and so I am trying to pick them up and put them in the saucepan but they are all slippery and there is water and glass everywhere. And then I have to get a teaspoon and pick up all the gravel which you need at the bottom of the tank and I put that in the fruit bowl. And it was really sad because the little china tree that hides the bubble making machine was all broken. And the awful thing was that I didn't have a brush or anything so I had to leave it all for the cleaning lady...but don't worry about Aztec and Inca - they are fine - I got a new tank and it is on the bookcase. I don't think they are too traumatised - they are just taking it one day at a time. I just saw a catfish in the shop which I am quite tempted by - I could call him Puma ... or maybe Marco...

To World's End... and back

2009-03-16T00:01:00.001Z

Our friends, Graham and Ursula,
live in a small Oxfordshire village.

After we have enjoyed
Graham's world-famous 'Pot au Feu'
Ursula and I step out to take the air
and leave MrM to analyse the rugby with Graham
aided by generous quantities of 'Old Hooky' Ale.
Ursula is new to blog tourism
and is surprised but delighted that
a window with a reflection in
is sufficient excuse for a photograph.

We wander down Middle Street
and wish that we could see over
the high wall to the garden beyond.

A bright orange vintage tractor!
Everyone should have one in their back garden.

And then I get distracted
because Ursula makes me laugh a lot
and so there is no record
of the donkey,
or the child at the level crossing
or the beautiful china bowl in a cottage window
but this carving did catch my eye.

We stop in the Church but not for long
because a rather deaf elderly lady
with a hysterical dog
is waiting to lock up.

The village has a history dating back to Saxon times
and apparently it was once famous for apricots.
Ursula did not know that.

The pleasure is always in the small details.

Thank you, Graham and Ursula, for your hospitality.
I only wish that I had taken a picture of the Pot au Feu.

A brief interlude

2009-03-14T19:20:00.003Z

Last night I slept in an oak panelled room
with a velvet upholstered four poster bed.

The fireplace was carved limestone,
the ceiling moulded plaster,

and the bathroom luxurious.

This morning I sat at the pewter mirror

and looked beyond to the drive lined with shaped yew

and wondered at my good fortune.

Peer Pressure

2009-03-13T00:01:00.001Z

MrM
A double expresso for me.

MissM
A double expresso for me as well.

MrsM
I will just have a single expresso.

MrM
That's not very impressive.

MrsM
What???

MissM
You should try a double - you might like it.

MrsM
I never have a double expresso.

MrM
Go on, go on, go on...

MrsM
What is this all about?
Why is there suddenly a big issue
about my coffee order?
I have never had to justify it before.

MrsM takes a photo of the coffee cup
as a clear statement of her intention
to record this emotional bullying in her blog.

MrM to MissM
Did you notice that she needed to use the Zoom function?

Just for the Record

2009-03-12T00:01:00.002Z

1.
A young finalist breezes into my office.
As she leaves I notice her well organised backpack.
With a pocket for a water bottle.
Students in my previous Department
did not use backpacks.
Which might explain why
they were always losing things.

2.
This Professor can't stop to chat
because he has a conference call to Alaska.
It is a telephone-interview
for the Masters course.
I wonder if the candidate is smartly dressed
as they try to impress him from afar.

3.
I discuss the arrangements with a PhD student
for a research trip to Vietnam.
We agree that it is unlikely that
rickshaw drivers will write receipts.

4.
There is champagne in my office fridge
for the next PhD student
to celebrate a successful defence of their thesis.

5.
It is such a pleasure to write an email which starts
Dear Dr....
Congratulations...

6.
Four of the best Post doctorate students in the Department
have come to the end of their research grants.
It is so difficult to say goodbye.

7.
Waiting to hear if a grant application
has been successful
is nerve-wracking.
Grey skin and bags under the eyes
kind of nerve-wracking.
A young academic career hangs in the balance.

8.
This young academic has just got his first job.
He shakes hands in a calm, courteous manner.
But as soon as he steps out of my office
he is surrounded by friends
rushing out of offices,
cheering, hugging him and each other
and hurrying him off to celebrate.

9.
My Libyan expert is getting married next month.
He will be spending his honeymoon in Namibia
because he has 'always wanted to go there'.
I hope his wife-to-be enjoys travelling.

10.
Little Rosa comes to see her daddy in his office.
I tell her about the little girl cousin
- also called Rosa -
who is very, very,very naughty.
Little Rosa's eyes grow large with delight.

11.
I receive a special request for
next year's timetable.
I am delighted to be able to help.
I like to think that two children
can take it for granted that their father,
an eminent Professor,
will be home in time to supervise splashes and bubbles.

12.
It is the people that you work with
that make the work worthwhile.

Parents' Consultation Morning

2009-03-11T00:01:00.002Z

A record of a morning
spent in dusty corridors

waiting for appointments
outside thick wooden doors

peering through leaded windows
at the sunshine outside,

clutching a battered timetable
with the list of names of teachers

who smile as we enter the room
and say such good things about MissM.

*****

In the middle of the morning
we met the Much Travelled MissC, friend of MissM,
and her Lovely Mother.
And the Lovely Mother of the Much Travelled MissC said

"I read your blog
and so does my mother
and my sister"

And MrsM felt slightly faint
because that means that the Lovely Mother
knows about the gilet
and the argument in the shop
and MrsM's failure as a parent
and countless other confessions
but she smiled weakly
and said "I am so glad that you like it".

Hi to you, Lovely Mother,
and the Much Travelled MissC!

The problem with blogging is...

2009-03-10T00:01:00.007Z

...that you start with good intentions
and you write about yourself
and your job
and your family
and your dog
and you think that you have set clear boundaries
and some things are outside those boundaries
and so you don't write about them
but one day something happens
and you feel that you must write about it
so that the blog is a true record
but it means that what would have been
a private sadness
becomes public knowledge
and you are not sure
if you are comfortable with that
but in the end
the need to record
is greater than
the desire for privacy
and you publish the post
and then friends from far and wide
send messages of such kindness and comfort
at a time when it is so welcome
and you feel overwhelmingly grateful
for this community that you have become part of
which stretches from
one side of the world
to the other,
where there is always somebody awake
writing,
reading,
smiling,
and you just want to say
something that will express how you feel
and all that you can come up with is

'Thank you...
each comment and email
yesterday meant so much...
thank you...'

Poppy

2009-03-09T00:01:00.001Z

9 January 1995 - 5 March 2009

The perfect dog for our family.

Brave, intelligent, devoted.

So many happy memories.

Much loved by us all.

Our home seems unbearably quiet without her.

Anemone blanda

2009-03-06T00:01:00.001Z

After a long winter
I glimpse sunshine
on blue anemones
and I know that
it is time to return
to the garden.

There is much to do.

wood engravings

2009-03-05T09:44:00.005Z

The Bird's Nest

Sometimes a birthday present is so unexpected
and yet so thoughtfully chosen
that you catch your breath
when you undo the wrapping.

The Farmyard

My father-in-law, Thomas, is a bibliophile
and gave me the tiniest slip of a book
wood engravings by Gwen Raverat
published by R.D. & J.M. Carr
The Quince Tree Press

Children

Gwen Raverat was a granddaughter of Charles Darwin
and later in life published 'Period Piece',
a memoir of her Cambridge childhood,
one of my parents' favourite books.

April

She was an exceptionally talented artist,
specialising in wood engraving,
who trained at the Slade
and then lived in France with her husband
until his early death in 1925.

The Balcony

The exquisite wood engravings featured
include examples from her time in France
and her later book illustrations.

In the Loft

The ones I have selected remind m
of my family home in Cornwall.
There are days when I wish I could be closer.

I had a dove

Another time, another place

2009-03-04T00:01:00.001Z

When MasterM was 5 he woke up one morning
and got ready for school.
He put on his little grey shorts
and his little brown sandals
and then he had his breakfast.
It seemed like a normal day.
After breakfast he got his little blue satchel ready
and was just about to brush his teeth
when he clutched his stomach and doubled up in pain.
MrsM was aghast.
Her precious son was in agony.
She made him lie down on the sofa
and phoned the surgery for an emergency appointment.
She whispered the word 'Appendicitis' into the phone
and then bundled MasterM into the car.
MissM and Grandma looked shocked on the doorstep
and MrsM explained hurriedly what to do
if she had to drive straight to the hospital.
MrsM drove quickly but carefully to the surgery
and screeched to a halt outside.

A tiny little voice came from the back seat:

MasterM
"Mummy, I am not really ill"

MrsM
"You are being a very brave boy"

MasterM
"No - I am really NOT ill
I just didn't want to go to school"

MrsM
"Goodness me...why not?"

MasterM
"Because I know we are going to have
beetroot for lunch"

MrsM
"Errr..."

pauses to collect thoughts

"I am very proud of you
for being brave enough to tell me the truth
even though you knew I might be cross."

(yes!! I really did say that!!
It was the high point of my career
as the mother of a 5 year old boy.)

I was reminded of this on Sunday
when we took two of MasterM's friends out to lunch.
One is South African and one is Australian,
now unexpectedly working together in Dorset.
We spoke of MasterM over this beautiful risotto
of roast beetroot and sugar snap peas
and wondered what he was eating in Argentina.

Probably not beetroot.

On Gold Hill

2009-03-03T00:01:00.004Z

It was late afternoon by the time we arrived in Shaftesbury,
an ancient Dorset town at the top of a steep hill,
overlooking the Blackmore Vale.

The soft light was warm on thatch and cob wall
and reflected in the small glass panes.

These cottages look romantic now
but would have been homes to families
living on subsistence wages
including the famous button-makers of Dorset
who made buttons from the horns of Dorset sheep.
This trade came to a shuddering halt
after the introduction of a button-making machine in 1851.
The skilled button-makers faced starvation
and 350 families from Shaftesbury emigrated to Australia
(which might explain the obsessive button-love
displayed by some of my Australian friends).

We stood at the top of Gold Hill
and wondered whether to walk down.
It is very steep and the cobbles are uneven -
perhaps it would be better to see the view from the top.

But if you walk down you can see the houses
and between them, glimpses of the valley beyond.
It was worth the walk because,at the bottom of the hill,
I found a sheltered wall covered with pale violet Aubretia

which proves that you never know what you will find
around the next bend in the road.

*****

Thank you so much for your kind birthday wishes
which I really appreciated.
Your generous friendship means a great deal to me.

the sound of woodpigeons

2009-03-02T00:01:00.001Z

A weekend in the country
organised by MrM
as a birthday treat for MrsM.
A time to reflect on the good things
that have happened in the past year
and make plans for the future.

MasterM, Interior Designer

2009-02-27T00:01:00.003Z

MasterM has a job in Buenos Aires for the next five months
with a seven room flat to rattle around in.
He tells us that the rooms are massive and rather bare
so he is looking for cheap ways to decorate.

MrsM suggests that he print some of his photographs
but MasterM is dismissive.
He would need so many because the walls are so huge.
Anyway, he has other plans...

MasterM
A fishtank would look really cool...

MrsM
Gasp

MasterM
I went to a petshop today
on my way back from the hairdressers
but they didn't have any Japanese fighting fish...

MrsM
breathes out

MasterM
...but they did have a really beautiful pair of parrots

MrsM
NO!!

MasterM
...I could give them to somebody as a gift when I leave...

MrsM
DEFINITELY NOT!!

MasterM
...there were some really cute Russian Mice

MrsM
Have you actually thought
how many mice
you could have running around your flat
by the time you leave?

MasterM
Good point!

Maybe I will just get a lizard.

p.s. fear not, dear Animal Lovers,
this is merely evidence that
MasterM is missing the endless opportunities
to tease his mother.

Whitstable Harbour

2009-02-26T00:01:00.002Z

MissM and I decide that we must have some sea air
and so we head for the coast.

It is a grey day and the famous beach huts
are barred and bolted shut
but the inner harbour is bustling with visitors.

The quayside is littered with ropes and anchors,
nets, chains and blue plastic buckets.

The salty air makes us hungry
but not enough to eat cockles, whelks or jellied eels.

We are tempted by an ice cream parlour
which promises us that their ice cream
will make us 'weep tears of joy'.

After trialling the honeycomb flavour
MissM assures me that her eyes definitely welled up briefly
to prevent me from demanding our money back.

It is all very relaxing
and I only feel slightly enraged
by the spelling mistake

and couldn't care less
about the apostrophes.

Life Lessons

2009-02-25T22:04:00.003Z

Super-Stylish Monica has asked what I learned today.

I learned that
if you wear your blouse
inside out
all day
you really, really, really hope
that everyone thought
that the seams
were a design feature.

The Potato Peel Rebellion

2009-02-25T00:01:00.007Z

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

MrsM is sorry to report that she is on the Naughty Step today.
She has said terrible things about the Book of the Moment.
MrsM is a 'Potato Peel' refusenik.

It did not start well because it is an epistolary novel.
MrsM racks her brain to think of similar novels
that she has actually enjoyed.
Her mind goes blank.

Next, the endless list of recommendations
on the cover made her cautious.
MrsM does not consider the review from Saga
'Utterly delightful'
as a selling point.

She consults MissM who blushes and says:
'It was very relaxing to read.'

She emails literary friends:
ReadersGuide
'A sweet, cheering book that you can read in an evening.
Or, an evening and a morning,
providing no one is bothering you.'
Suse
'I started it last night and it's quite pleasant thus far. '
The Coffee Lady
'I'm embarrassed to admit I had never heard of it.'

She reads blog reviews:
MrsC
'Now I've read it ... I've been kicking myself
for not getting hold of it sooner.'

Eventually, MrsM had to start reading the book.
After half a page she asks MissM
'If I only read the first and last ten pages
do I need to read the rest? '
MissM concedes that MrsM would probably not miss much
but says that she is very disappointed by MrsM's negative attitude
and unnecessarily restrictive reading habits.

MrsM looks again at the pages of glowing reviews
and sees the words from the Times :
'Charming...one to lift even the most cynical of spirits'

Which just goes to show
you can't believe everything that you read in the papers.

Creative Imperative

2009-02-24T00:01:00.001Z

Why should the urgent necessity
to photograph THIS flower on THAT plate
arrive in my brain, fully formed?

I may NOT finish the coffee that I am drinking.
I may NOT consider alternatives:
it MUST be THIS flower on THAT plate.

And so the cofeee is left to cool
in the sunny kitchen,
the camera is found,
the flower picked
the plate washed.

And then the photo is taken.

Snowdrops

2009-02-23T00:01:00.000Z

Milstead Parish Church

Sunday morning

at the end of winter

MrM and his barber

2009-02-21T21:46:00.008Z

MasterM has his hair cut by George.
Photo courtesy of MrM.

MrM is very loyal to his barber.
For many years he went to see Franco
and Franco ensured that MrM's back and sides were short
(usually regrettably short)
When MasterM was suitably mature (9 years old)
he too went to see Franco.

There were subtle aspects to the whole experience
because Franco has an elderly assistant with a shock of white hair
known affectionately as 'Einstein'
who quite often gets distracted mid-haircut
talking about Italian football
so that the hair outcome is entirely unpredictable.
He also smokes like a train
and standing near him is a respiratory challenge.
MrM and MasterM always used to thank Einstein politely
if he offered to cut their hair
and tell him that they were waiting for Franco.

There is a third barber
who is occasionally in the shop .
He is known as 'The Other Guy'
and he is the best barber of the team
but it is tricky to say to Franco
'I am waiting for The Other Guy'
and so it was entirely luck of the draw.
Sometimes, if MrM was feeling very kind
he would let MasterM have his hair done by The Other Guy
while he had second best with Franco.

When MasterM was younger
he was required to have short hair for school
and so MrsM would take him to see Franco.
She always felt uncomfortable sitting in the chairs
among the tabloid papers
and the football conversations.
She would give MasterM a pound coin before they went in
and at the end he would hand it to Franco,
still hot from being clutched in his hand,
and say, just as his father did,
'Thank you very much, Franco. See you again soon.'

Later, MasterM decided to grow his hair.
Franco was not happy about this;
it was an affront to his professional pride.
MasterM was obliged to walk on the other side of the street
to avoid having a discussion with Franco.

Today MrM had to visit the barbers.
He has been having his hair cut near his office
but has not been able to make the time to visit
the friendly and talented George the Barber.
When he walked into Franco's nothing had changed...
Einstein waved him to a chair
but MrM said that he would wait for Franco.
Franco was delighted to see MrM
and wanted to know everything that he had done
since he was last in the shop.
He was shocked to hear that MasterM was now 19
and travelling in South America.
Who would cut his hair while he was so far away?

MrM tipped Franco generously,
said goodbye to Einstein
and wondered what to say to MrsM
about his seriously short haircut.

Back to the friendly and talented George the Barber next time.

Camellias

2009-02-20T00:01:00.002Z

Camellia 'Liberty Bell'

Some people dream of roses around the front door
to scent the air on balmy summer evenings.

I have rose coloured camellias
around the dining room window
to give me moments of joy
on the cold, grey mornings of February.

It is a different sort of dream, I suppose.

*******

Edited to add:
I realised later that
it is the dream of a pessimist
who expects the grey days in life.
Perhaps I should request a David Austin catalogue.

Sand, Soldiers and the Sphinx

2009-02-19T00:01:00.002Z

Listen up good people...
this blog is descending into froth and cake crumbs.
I think that an Educational Post is called for.
So...today we are going to talk about

Napoleon in Egypt

I am betting that none of you know anything about it.
So we all get educated
but we also get to look at nice pictures.

Napoleon and the Sphinx - Jean León Gérôme

Napoleon decided to invade Egypt
because he wanted to stop British Imperial expansion.
Which was a mistake.

Napoleon at Alexandria

He evaded the British navy in the Mediterranean,
landed at Alexandria and fought the Mamelukes
at the Battle of the Pyramids in July 1798.

Mameluke - check out that style!

It all started so well
but then Admiral Nelson trapped the French fleet
and defeated it at the Battle of the Nile in August 1798.

Battle of the Nile - Thomas Whitcombe

Which left Napoleon stuck among the sand dunes.

And after various horrible sieges and other small campaigns
Napoleon returned to France in August 1799
leaving an army of 8,000 soldiers behind.

Battle of the Pyramids - Antoine-Jean Gros

1n 1801 the French surrendered to the British and went home.
It had been an expensive foray.

However, Napoleon had a sense of destiny
and had taken a group of scientists, engineers and painters.

Interior of a Weaver's Workshop - Nicolas Jacques Conte

And so we have an extraordinary record of the campaign
And the exotic world that they found.

Watercolour - Baron Dominique Vivant Denon

They removed enormous quantities of Egyptian antiquities
into the streets and museums of Paris
and the artistic influence filtered through
into much of European 18th century life.

Sevres Fruit Bowl, 1804

So now you know.

This post was inspired by a visit to L'Institut du Monde Arabe
Which has impressed my colleagues.
Especially when I tell them that
we had meze for lunch in the Institut restaurant.
Oh yes!

Tuesday, 'early doors'

2009-02-18T00:01:00.001Z

Let us imagine, for the sake of argument,
that you have crawled out of your warm bed
at the ungodly hour of 5.10am.
You have driven your sleepy husband to the station
and you are now on the motorway to the airport.
What thoughts swirl around in your brain?

1.
You think about breakfast.
Because you didn't have any.
And it is a long way to drive without breakfast.
A croissant would be good.
Specifically, an almond croissant.

2.
You ponder the car accidents that you have read about
and are very glad that
you have just had the brakes replaced on the car.

3.
You smile at the thought of MissM
still fast asleep in her cosy room.

4.
You think of MasterM
on whose behalf you are delivering items
to be stuffed into a suitcase at the check-in desk
and carried to Buenos Aires by his friend B.

5.
You think briefly about the meeting at 9.30am
when you will discuss the travel insurance policy
that will keep other people's children safe.

6.
You remember the almond croissant that you had in Paris.
It was warm and crisp on the outside
and meltingly soft and fragrant
when you bit into it.

7.
You choose a gift for a new baby cousin
whose arrival is much anticipated.
This is very pleasant and absorbs many minutes.

8.
You consider what is for supper
but this is less pleasant
and you mind goes blank.

9.
You are relieved that there is no snow on the road.
The time before last it was very scary.
Very Scary.

10.
You remember the telephone conversation
with your mother the previous evening.
She tells you that the garden is full of snowdrops.
You can imagine it.
Each tiny clump nestled among moss and leaf mould.

11.
Your mind goes sideways into Blogland
at the thought of snowdrops
and you consider if Poshyarns
has written your favourite post this month.

Probably.

Would you prefer a Madeleine?

no...

because....

12.
The almond croissant experience
is starting to become an essential part of the day.
Never mind the delivery for MasterM...
this has become an almond croissant pilgrimage.
If there are no almond croissants at the airport
there will be a very unpleasant scene.

Acid Drops

2009-02-17T00:01:00.000Z

Mapp and Lucia by E.F. Benson

There are times when you yearn
for really salty food
or the mouth-puckering acidity of lemons.
The subtle flavours of carefully balanced seasoning
seems a little delicate, a touch precious.

So it is with humour.
At the moment I have zero tolerance
of bland, delicate and precious.

The best prescription for this ennui
is the wicked, perceptive writing of E. F. Benson
whose biting satire of village life is just the tonic.
Like a dark reverse of Miss Marple
his characters are motivated entirely by self interest.
It is sheer joy to lose myself in the cruelties
of summer fêtes and musical soirées;
to see LuLu and LibLib
pitting their wits against each other.
I feel that zing on the mental palate
as his writing outrageously explores
the boundaries of social conventions in the Thirties
and can't stop myself laughing out loud.

Golden Harvest...

2009-02-16T00:01:00.000Z

Thirty years ago I worked on a daffodil farm.
In the height of summer
I would walk through the sloping fields
surrounded by labels:

St. Keverne
Golden Harvest
White Lion
Jack Snipe

And even now boxes of tight buds
evoke not the shallow sunshine of spring
but the hot dusty days of August
and trays of warm bulbs:

Dutch Master
Ice Follies
Carlton
Cheerfulness

The Musical MissA

2009-02-15T10:49:00.004Z

The Musical MissA is a good friend of MissM.
She is a very talented 'cellist...
but it would appear that she is not so confident
with Thunder Sticks.

*****

After the match we were discussing where to go for a meal.

MissM
We can't have a burger because
MissA's family is Very Healthy.

MissA
(shocked)
That's not true!

MissM
You like vegetables.
You even like cabbage.

MissA
(who is not used to the M family banter)
But I don't like lettuce...

MissM
Yes
but
you like
BRUSSELS SPROUTS!!!

(MrsM decides that somebody who likes Brussels Sprouts
should not be exposed to Drive Thru' Scottish food
and hastily offers to cook a nutritious family meal
...without lettuce...)