Sunday 30 November 2008

Sleeping Beauty

MrM has made the bed.
It is, frankly, a disappointment.
It does not create the Designer Interior ambience
that we aspire to here at ChezMagpie.

William A. Breakspeare (date unknown)

However, today is different
because MrsM has just been on
a Performance Management training course.

Maxfield Parrish (1912)

Early Intervention

Can we have a private word please?

Jennie Harbour (1921)

Describe the Expected Standards

I want to talk to you
about the way that you made the bed this morning.
I am afraid that it did not meet
the minimum standard that has been agreed.
The pillows were not plumped,
the duvet was hanging off the bed
and the counterpane was unacceptedly wrinkled.
Well...I must admit that it wasn't my best effort

Warwick Goble (1913)

Determine the Cause

Do you need me to show you
how to make the bed again?
Do you have personal reasons
which prevent you from making the bed?
Do you understand why
we want the bed to look comfortable?
Errr...yes...I mean, no...

Edward Coley Burne-Jones

Develop an Emotional Contract

It is my job to manage this family
This issue threatens our success
I want to work with you to find a solution

W. Heath Robinson (1921)

MrM sniggers.
MrsM loses the calm, authoritative tone.

Arthur Rackham (1916)

She may need to consult her notes.


Quinn said...

And it was going *so well* there...

Ali said...

If my hubby made the bed, it would be a miracle and I would be struck dumb with shock.

He would probobly notice. At some stage.

blackbird said...

Before I leave the house, when K is left to make the bed, I gently remind him: MAKE THE BED THE WAY A GIRL WOULD.

do you mind if i knit said...

Very amusing story, made me smile, but also struck a cord................ making the bed is also a hazard of every day life in our house............... I bet the tutor on your course never dreamt what practical use you'd put your learning to............................. oh, and bravo!

Ali Honey said...

Oooops - he won't ever want to make it again!

trash said...

'make.the.bed.' I know those words should seem familiar but.....

carrie said...

Thank you Alice, this made me giggle.

The Coffee Lady said...

Mr Coffee talks like this. All the time.

kristina said...

At the V&A they sent us on endless Performance Management training courses. If only I'd realized how those skills could be used in the home I might have paid closer attention! K x

dottycookie said...

What is this husband initiated bedmaking of which you speak?

Mary said...

I love that Mr M sniggered.

Anonymous said...

The one good thing to come out of all of this is that we have agreed that MrsM is not allowed to go on the assertiveness training course and the rest of the household may not be up to it.

Perhaps I should have put a pea under the mattress to see if it was noticed.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant send up of American Management-Speak and with delightful pics. I first met this nonsense in Swaziland over 30 years ago and it doesn't seem to have improved much!

walter and me said...

Mmmm....just as well I don't have a husband, I doubt they'd keep the required standards. I do like crisp hospital corners!

RW said...

Very funny twist.

When I first started with my company there was a lot of emphasis on "power words". I used to say them at home and drive my husband crazy.

A time to dance said...

Alice you crack me up...I have been on similar courses...if only they would work on husbands...ove the pictures

Gina said...

Do husbands make beds? Mine has been snoozing on the sofa whilst I put clean linen on the bed and is now sleeping in said bed whilst I read blogs!

Christy said...

this is awesome. =)

Lynn said...

Alice, your comment box rules the world. It's a toss-up which was funnier, your post or the 18 comments before mine. And yes, MrM, I'm most interested to learn the outcome of any sub-mattress pea placement...

Michaela said...

That reminds me of the time that my husband showed me the correct way to hoover up! (I subsequently showed him where to stick the extendable pipe for sucking up annoying little things...)

Curlew Country said...

Hilarious! Oh Alice you do make me grin. Thanks so much, its been a beautiful, exasperting, guilt inducing day. I needed that.

So good to know I'm not alone, it does have to be right doesn't it?!

Unknown said...

Oh my, you have quite cheered up a bad morning Alice. I have taken notes and intend to employ what I have learned from you the very next time my Technical Advisor attempts bed making.

Anonymous said...

What martyrs we men are to housework!