Saturday 22 November 2008

This is Fear and I am Afraid

Ms. Eurolush is coming to London - what could be nicer than meeting her?
MrsM emails her and tentatively suggests it.

Ms. Eurolush:
I appreciate you offering to take time from your weekend to meet up. I know how much you value your quiet time away from work. You are a busy girl!... Of course, I've already prematurely bragged several times to Mary and Eleanor about the possibility. A lot is at stake here!

MrsM ponders this. She has met Ali and Kristina without incident. She has spent a whole day with Val, Tracey and Monica. She has met Tracey from Australia. She has even met blog husbands. They have all been completely normal, delightful people.

Ms. Eurolush:
Have I scared you with the idea of bringing what amounts to nearly my entire extended family along? Are you regretting your proposal? Are you rubbing your temples at this very minute, sighing out loud and rocking back and forth? I do have that effect on people, you know

How did Ms. Eurolush know?
Is she psychic?
MrsM emails back and tries to manage expectations.
"I am normal - I hope you won't be disappointed"

Ms. Eurolush:
If anyone should FEAR meeting up, it is I. Little do you know how mousy and quiet I am. I stutter when I speak and am terribly wall-eyed. (This means while one eye looks your way, the other wanders off to monitor those around me.) I snort quite often. I have a strange habit of unconsciously twirling a single piece of my hair over and over and over--until it stands perfectly rigid on the top of my head, like some sort of hair-antennae. I should probably also mention the fidgeting. What else? The inappropriate and ill-timed giggle fits? How easily I am distracted by pigeons and gravel? That I carry a smoking pipe clenched between my teeth at all times? That I wear a monocle? That when I do speak my voice is a deep baritone? That every sentence I utter begins with, "In my humble opinion..."

MrsM considers her options.
She is committed to this expedition.
She discusses it with MrM.
"Do you think you will be safe?" he says
"I think she is just enthusiastic" says MrsM doubtfully

Ms. Eurolush:
Of course, I plan to be furiously taking notes the whole time we're together...detailed descriptions of you and your many unconscious habits and tics. Hope that doesn't distract you. I may also be making rough sketches of you in my sketch book. Just plan on sitting very still while we chat. I am meticulous with my doodling.

MrsM has an idea.
She can take MissM.
Nobody messes with MissM.

Ms. Eurolush:
We are extremely flexible with our schedule. If something doesn't work for you...we can always meet somewhere a different time...for dinner...lunch...breakfast...snacktime...teatime. All of them. Maybe we'll just all show up at your door instead. That would make this whole thing so much easier, don't you think? You wouldn't mind seven house guests at the last minute, would you?

MrsM decides what to wear.
It will be cold.
She plans to wear something warm.

Ms. Eurolush:
I plan to wear a red coat. But I may have a change of mind and wear a black coat, instead. As you can see, I'm unpredictable. It will be a mystery. Who knows what color coat I shall wear?

MrsM goes out to the late night chemist for some tranquilisers

Ms. Eurolush:
I'm shy, too! What will we do? I foresee lots of awkward pauses...nervous laughter...profuse sweating...and painfully little eye-contact.

Perhaps a "dance-off" would lesson the tension??


Bring your best moves...'cause it's on!!!

today is the Big Day.
If I don't return please send out a search party.


Jackie said...

Oh! More....

Anonymous said...

I will most definitely return tomorrow to hear the outcome.

PS stay in highly populated areas...

Anonymous said...

Be brave.

Take the camera.

Have fun.

Report back.

(Did you buy the gilet?)

Quinn said...

Your instincts are good:
Take MissM.

Lynn said...

It's been nice knowin' ya, Alice. Mwahahahaha!!!

Seriously, though -- this post had me in stitches. And wetting my pants at the prospect of the two of you comparing dance moves. I picture Miss M rolling her eyes and glancing at her watch a whole lot, as you and Eurolush take turns strutting your funky stuff. Who will be the victor? I'm itching to find out.

Christy said...

ha ha! that's awesome! Hope you had fun!

Mary said...

I am ridiculously excited about the reports of this meeting...

blackbird said...


It will, undoubtedly, be spectacular.

Ali Honey said...

If it's half as funny as this it will be okay!

Eleanor said...

Mr. Commentbox and I cannot stop laughing long enough to write anything in this commentbox.

Eleanor said...

Are the tranquilisers destined for the dart-gun which Mr. M. will aim at Eurolush?

A time to dance said...

I am rather worried....its sunday and no post...shall I get the search party organised??
I would love to meet you...anyone who writes such creative and thought provoking posts could never be a mouse..... love H

RW said...

so funny.
it is also so amazing that here we all are waiting to hear what happened....

dottycookie said...

Hope it all went well!

Anonymous said...

oh I bet you'll have a fantabulous time!!

Anonymous said...

You make me laugh! Hee!
I hope you have a wonderful time! Can't wait to hear all about it. I hope you did not have to take the tranquilizers :)

fifi said...

I just laughed so loudly that I startled the cat.

Isn't she so funny?