Saturday 24 January 2009

The Ten Commandments

Thou shalt honour MrM
who is the mobile phone coordinator for the Family.
Thou shalt respect thy mobile phone
which is a valuable item.
Thou shalt be awed by MrM's encyclopaedic knowledge
of tariffs and special offers.
Thou shalt attempt to use up thy monthly text allowance.
Thou shalt not under any circumstances
make calls from overseas with thy UK sim card.
Thou shalt not leave thy mobile phone at home.
Thou shalt not lose thy mobile phone
at the bottom of thy handbag.
Thou shalt not drop thy mobile phone
in a supermarket car park.
Thou shalt not delete texts about London Irish
from MrM without reading them.
Thou shalt not laugh uncontrollably
when MrM confesses that
he dropped his new Blackberry in the bath
and when he had secretly dried it out in the airing cupboard
it almost worked.
Except the number 5.


Anonymous said...

Is number 5 really important in the scheme of things? The answer to the universe is 42 - no numbers fives in that!

blackbird said...

Poor MrM.

I'm afraid he would be ashamed of us.
Oldest has dropped his cell phone in the toilet.

Unknown said...

Excuse me while I stop sniggering about Mr M's blackberry - Nigel did better than that - left his phone in the leg pocket of his casual trousers (you know those attractive ones with pockets by the side of the knees - don't even go there!) he then put the trousers into the washing machine (I have him well trained on the domestic front) realised his mistake on taking them from the machine at the end of the cycle, left the phone somewhere warm to dry out completely and then had the audacity to take it into the relevant shop and get it replaced for free as it had 'mysteriously stopped working' His neck is almost as long as a giraffe's!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm sounds a bit like my husbands ten commandments and he once dropped his phone down the loo whilst on a train and on another occasion forgot he had his PDA in his pocket when he went into the sea with the children.
As for me and mobiles, one rule only - keep it turned off unless I want to make that call.

Anonymous said...

Humm maybe MisterM needs to brush up o his commandments.

You really should ot leave your phone at home. (I do it all the time)

The Coffee Lady said...


Can I add another one? Don't lose the instruction book to your phone so you can't work out how to turn the ringing sound back on once you have accidentally silenced it.

Allison said...

Waaaaaay too funny. What's an airing cabinet?

Anonymous said...

TCL - you should find that it is the button on the bottom right hand corner

Quinn said...

Funny...I was picturing MrM with darker hair.
and without stone tablets.

Anonymous said...

MrsM keeps telling me to take the tablets ...

Verification word - pirre

Clearly MrsM brings out the worst in me

dottycookie said...

I washed the phone I had two phones ago. And the SIM survived! The next phone was one of those foldy up ones that nip your fingers. I broke the hinge on that one. Now I have one with a camera and awkward buttons that I complain about constantly.

Mr DC says I can choose my own &*(%*&%^ phone next time ;-)

Lynn said...

It's a good thing I was between sips of wine when Charlton Heston burst onto my computer screen, as I have a long history of snorting beverages out my nose. The hair! The beard! The makeup! And then #9 made me laugh out loud again. Oops! Re: mobile phones: I cannot even join the conversation, as mine is a no-frills model that stays in the car, turned off, until such time as I need to holler for help with flat tires and the like. Just call me the Rustic Little Ozark Lady...

Anonymous said...

Regarding #9: I'll drink to that.

M said...

CrackBerry in the toilet. Lovely. And he still tried to use it. Ew.

Question - why does one need a phone in the toilet? Secret calls to check phone tariffs and special offers?

M said...

Ok, sorry, read wrong. Have reading alzheimers. Bath. Of course, one needs a phone in the bath!

Anonymous said...

So entertaining ... I will copy and paste and post to my children since I hear every one of those "complaints" about how poorly I use my cell phone! Simply marvelous!

The Coffee Lady said...

I just remembered another one that you may find useful.

Pouring a pint of milk on a mobile phone renders it permanently useless.

Surely we've all done that? Surely?

Penny Blogs said...

That is so funny!

I once worked with a guy who cropped his phone into the sea whilst playing with his kids. Work had paid for the phone, so he sent his kids to look for it with snorkels. The phone was found and he washed it would with non-salt water before drying it. The handset worked fine, but the salt had corroded the sim card! In the end he had to get a new sim which of course required him explaining to the IT dept at work how his sim had had an encounter with salt water!

Anonymous said...

my kids once dropped my digital camera in the fish tank. Oh dear.

But I have to say that after a stint in the airing cupboard it worked as goos as before... infact it still does, 7 years on.

Hurray for airing cupboards.

Gina said...

Should I really be laughing this loudly? Sorry Mr M!