Monday 5 January 2009

Shopping with MrM

I regret to report that
MrM and MrsM have just had an argument.
In Public.
Oh! The Shame!

MrM decided that he needed an Executive Rucksack
to carry his laptop and his important business paraphenalia
(pencil case, iPod, Financial Times).
MrsM regrets the passing of the leather briefcase
but understands that times move on.
Fashions change.

MrM and MrsM go to a very large Department Store
with a lot of stylish options.
MrsM has been shopping with MrM before
and she knows that the best thing to do is abandon him
with the poor shop assistant for half an hour
so that MrM can explore exhaustively
the many features of the bags on offer.
In the meantime MrsM will check out all the special offers
in the entire store.

At the end of the 30 minutes MrsM goes back
to the bag department and rescues the poor shop assistant
who is looking as though he is going to sign himself
into the Priory for work-related stress.

On this occasion MrsM arrives to discover a catastrophe.
MrM has fallen in love with a Swiss Army bag.
It has 34 pockets
and each pocket has two zip fobs with the Swiss flag on.
If there was a light breeze MrM would become a wind chime.

MrM looks so happy with his choice.


MrM looks crushed.

"Take the smart, black, executive bag"

MrM points to the big label with the Swiss Flag on.

"Think of your image"
"Don't you thinks it looks macho?"
"You should be aspiring to intelligent not macho"
"It has 34 pockets including one for my iPod"
"It looks as though you stole it from your seven year old son"
"It is me that has to use it"
"Listen to me carefully.
I am going to leave you now and go and have a cup of coffee
You can join me when you have bought
the smart, black, executive bag."

At this point the shop assistant looks desperate.

"If you think I have been harsh,
imagine what MissM would say"

(MrM will be commuting tomorrow with
a smart, black, executive bag.)


Mary said...

I am so impressed by the way you handled this potentially very fraught situation.

I am also highly amused...

Christy said...

that is awesome.

Lynn said...

Ooh, you brought in the Big Guns. The threat of the displeasure of the Supreme Fashion Arbiter herself. (Couldn't MrM have the zany Swiss bag for the weekends, at least? I feel wistful on his behalf...)

Anonymous said...

My Pete calls those interactions discussions.

For what it is worth I would have let him go with the swiss army bag and bought him some skater boy pants and shoes to match.

Live it up MrM!

Fairlie - said...

What I want to know, is whether there was any eye rolling being done by the shop assistant...and behind whose back said eye rolling was being done?

Anonymous said...

As with all good stories there are two sides to the tale.

After MrsM left for her propsed coffee I asked the assistant if he was married and he told me that he had managed to escape that. I said "That's alright for you - I've just done 23 years". We nodded to each other at this point.

I went for the more sober black bag as my main fear with the Swiss Army version was that I would be in an important meeting and would be asked for some information but would be seen frantically searching for it in the many pockets of this compendious bag. It does not more of an off duty model.

What MrsM does not appreciate yet is that on the back of our discussion yesterday is that I am planning to give her some advice on handbags. MissM is now using one of her twenty year old models to much acclaim from her friends. It has graduated from the dressing up box and recommissioned for active service. I am v impressed with MissM for many reasons and her frugality (most of the time) and fashion sense are at the top of the list - MrsM cannot understand why MissM should want to use one of her discards.

I would therefore contend that MrsM has much to learn about the choice of personal bags.

To be continued .....

(Verification word - momiss)

Anonymous said...

PS - apologies for any typos/spelling mistakes. Must dash as have to pack new bag for work

kristina said...

I still haven't stopped laughing! It's all too true! K x

Unknown said...

Little boys and their toys (quiet shake of the head)

Ali said...

Ah, the MissM card trumps all.

Am I the only one with the bizarre impulse to google a 34 pocket swiss army bag, just to see what you saved him from?

tess said...

perhaps you could buy him a swiss army pencil case to go inside the smart black exec bag.....
Mr M I think you may be right about too many pockets.........

dottycookie said...

Perhaps you couold embroider a small, tasteful Swiss Army patch for Mr M to put on his elegant executive bag - he could hide it in under a flap and furtively peek at it during important meetings ...

Gina said...

Impressive handling of the situation Alice! And of course you were right.

walter and me said...

I'm weak with laughter...

M said...

Fabulous. This would happen in our household. The not.yet.teen would back me up.

Eleanor said...

MrM writes fabulous commentboxes, and as far as I'm concerned the commentbox is the blogger's most important accessory.

So all's well that ends well.

P.S. Any chance of a photo of the recommissioned handbag currently being used by Miss M?

Anonymous said...

I think I'm about to have palpations, personally I consider it very brave of you to shop with Mr M, I find it much easier to berate my husband after the event!

Anonymous said...

"Must have the smart, black executive bag". I can hear Hyacinth Bucket saying the same thing to Richard! Very funny story, I love it!

Anonymous said...

I like it. Would you like to offer some advice to a Mrs faced with a Mr who is intent on buying a bedside alarm clock with time projection. I have pointed out he is 42 not 11 but he is unswayed. I had hoped we might be able to move to something stylish to go with the nice new bedroom.


RW said...

Oh. Yes - I too am keen to see a photo of the bag Miss M has decided to use....

I thought this post very funny.

do you mind if i knit said...

Oh very amusing! It's brought a big smile to my face...................
And your indulgence at Fortnum's looks so elegant and beautiful............... the ice cream is an interesting concept..............

Anonymous said...

Can't stop laughing! I am off to google the bag and might be back later to comment again.

you can never go wrong with plain black! But I do like the idea of the pencil case :)

Oh and we might need the picture of the hand bag too!

Anonymous said...

Oh, dear! It's possible that my husband has something somewhat like this bag -- a variant, perhaps. It has many pockets, but some have velcro flaps, and they don't stay closed. Perhaps this will make Mr M feel better --

Lazylol said...

So funny!

Penny Blogs said...

Am I allowed to say that I think I know the Swiss Army bag you're talking about and (whispers) I quite like it...

Anonymous said...

I think it was the one in the tasteful blue on the right - sadly out of stock it appears. Fortunately I know where one is still available ... where I put it in a secret place so I could come back and collect it later. Actually I made that bit up - it's what people are supposed to do before sales I believe

Unknown said...

Oh Alice, your shopping experience sounds very familiar to me. Well done for bringing him to his senses though no doubt he will be cursing you when he finds he doesn't have enough pockets...

Anonymous said...

As an exercise in power, this manoeuvre is textbook example of carrot and the stick/shock and awe tactics: "I am going to leave you now.../You can join me when.." Poor MrM did not stand a chance. The whole scene reminds me of the 1965 British espionage film "The Ipcress File" ("Now listen to me...").

Lime Cat said...

I've just laughed so much at this I snorted tea through my nose.

The Coffee Lady said...

would that be your seven-year-old son Joshua who had such a bag to steal?

Anonymous said...

Yesterday evening I saw a man on the Tube with a Swiss Army rucksack, jangling with zippers and shiney bits.

He was an grown up, professional kind of a man. At a guess, in his mid fifties, in a sharp suit, carrying the FT, and gazing in a loving, if disillusioned way at his bag.

I couldn't help laughing. And feeling pleased, Mrs M, that you put your foot down, and that there isn't another one of them out there!